It was a dark and stormy night. Outside the rain fell like a
cheap pair of sox, water rushing through the deserted streets like a
freshman late for lunch. But inside the supposedly empty hall of St.
Pius X High School, a silhouette could be seen lurking its way toward
the library. It reeked like a football player after a hard practice.
And it breathed hard, as if it had just run two or three St. Pius
miles. The silhouette's person laughed a very cold sinister laugh. The
person sighed remembering the good times and the bad times. The
stranger was wearing a hood which was taken off. When he entered the
library, the stranger saw a lighted candle on a small table with a
simple hard-bound book. The book had no title. The stranger saw that
the flame of the candle was turning blue. A hole in the space-time
continuum formed immediately. The stranger was pulled into the spatial
anomaly. The stranger felt a falling sensation. The stranger was either
blind or everything was very dark. Then, the stranger blacked out.
Back in the hallway the silhouette stirred, the figure anxiously
peering out of the shadows, lurking like a monk in a cloister awaiting
his next meal. Then echoing through the empty halls came the sudden
sound of footsteps followed by a girlish giggle. The silhouette pressed
back into the dark, fading into the shadows just as Janie came skipping
around the corner.
She stopped at the front door of the library and looked behind
her. From her back pocket she pulled a small leather pouch, uzipped it,
and removed a diamond tipped glass cutter. Carefully, quietly, she slid
the tip in a small circle, around the glass. Then tapped it. The tiny
perfect circle of glass dropped back onto the library floor. She tried
to stick her hand through, the pane shook loose and shattered on the
floor. "Geepers," she muttered and then opened the door, shards of
glass crunching beneath her feet.
The silhouette darted out of the dark, silently pausing beside
the pope, pretending to offer the pontiff a light.
Inside the library Jannie was anxiously pulling books from the
shelves, desperately searching for something.
One of the books that Jannie took was the book with no name. She
was filled with curiosity. She opened the book. All of the pages were
blank. She heard an explosion. A puff of ash and brimstone. Who should
appear but Hades, King of the Underworld. "Ha, Ha! I got you now R.
Jannie. You took those books without checking them out. Thus you
deserve the same fate as the other stranger who was trespassing." The
vortex opened and R. Jannie was pulled inside it.
When the mysterious silhouete heard the noise he darted inside
the library. He stood amid the broken shards of glass and books
littered the floor. On the floor he saw an open book. As he approached
nearer he saw that it had no writing in its pages. Meanwhile, R. Jannie
was battling Hades. he said " Ha, Ha. Your time is up. You lose." With
that he took his scythe and lobbed her head off. He laughed an evil
cackle that reverberated throughout the underworld. R. Jannie crumpled
to the floor. The evil Hades laughed again and removed the mask he was
wearing. Underneath he was really Duran Duran! "Now I shall make my
escape to the Parallel Universe were every thing exist in 256 shades of
Meanwhile in the OTHER parallel that's kind of like our universe,
an important meeting was taking place. "We must stop Duran Duran," said
the OTHER Mr. Sutter, "before he kills the OTHER R. Jannie, but what
can we do !?!?!?!?!?" "Well, we must have Duran Duran come to this
universe where we can take care of him permanently", said the OTHER
Meanwhile, in the Dremarians' universe, King Jason V was on the
bridge talking to his crew aboard the U.S.S. Matthias. "We must stop
Duran Duran. Remember Poder. Remember Dremaria!" With that he got into
his throne. "Helm, set a course for the parallel universe where every
thing exist in 256 Shades of Green. Maximum warp. Engage." The warp
nacells hummed for a few seconds then leaped into warp. Then, the ship
Back in the OTHER universe, the OTHER Billy, the OTHER Mr.
Sutter, the OTHER R. Jannie, and the OTHER others were devising a plan
to destroy Duran Duran. "How will we kill all the DuranDuranss in all
the parsallel universes?!", exclaimed Mr. Sutter. "I know we'll get one
of them to kill all the others!", offered Jason, "that way we'll cut
our losses." "Yeah, maybe that'll work.", agreed Billy. "How 'bout if
we offer him some poisoned dark and moody?", proposed Gina. "What if we
get him on X-File's Most Wanted?", submitted Elizabeth. "No, 'Liz",
moaned the others. Bernadette said, "Jason's right. His plan works."
On the Matthias, the night before the ship's warp core breached,
Julie, the king's sister had a nightmare. "I was in space, facing the
ship when it exploded." "Say no more." Said KIng Jason V. " I will
create a time loop so that this ship and this crew will stay alive.
Still, I can not believe my home is gone. Foutunatly, we were on a
scientific exploration." His sister left his quarters with the king in
high hopes. Unfortunately for El King del Stupido, that is exactly what
Duran, Duran wanted. "In the prosses of creating his litte time loop,
he will also create a paradox, and I shall harnise the energy to bring
all the DuranDurans from all the parallel universes and murge them into
me, making me a god !!!! Then I'll destroy Jason's ship once and for
In the OTHER parallel universe, the OTHER Jason had been attacked by
Duran Duran. Now he was in a coma. The OTHER Sutter said, "Jason was
working on a story. I wish we had the main character, the king's help."
"And you have it, Herman Sutter." It was King Jason V!"I have a
vendetta against Duran Duran. Our forces shall unite to destroy him.
However, I personally shall battle him to the death."
They all thought that Duran Duran was conquering with no help at
all. He had help from master villaness Carmen Sandiego!
While this was happening, the other Billy Hoya was locked in a closet
by an unkown and unidentifable person. They reasoned that it must have
been Duran Duran or some such other strange, and confusing character.
However, since Billy was unhurt they left it as a mystery, and
continued their conversation with Jason V, who they wondered how he got
there in the first place. This all would have been avoided if they had
been watching the viewing window for the attack, but since they forgot
their guide books, they didn't, so they also didn't know that the evil
people were attacking, or at least finding out their vulunarable point.
So, to conclude matters, it was a messy! Fortunately they had some
reasonable people on board, such as R. Janie Garcia, who was willing to
point out their mistakes. She told them what they forgot, and asked
billy to discribe the characters.
"What was that?" Asked Billy.
"I said," Answered Janie, a bit annoyed, "Discribe the person, or
whoever who locked you in the closet!"
"Oh, them," Said Billy, who by this point had forgotten the incident,
"Kind of dark and sinister, you know what I mean, and I guess you could
say that they were strange."
Janie looked thoughtful, then said "Obviously. Okay, facts: 1. Duran
Duran and Carmen S. are partners 2. Billy's fine 3. This is really
The others could not have agreed more. Billy took a look at his watch.
Five after it had been when he was locked in the closet. Someone very
strange must have thought this up, and he thought he had an idea whom.
Mr. Sutter, resourceful as always, had inserted all the happenings into
a computer, and had checked with other very smart members about other
happens. Then he gave them what they really wanted. Lunch.
But jannie was starting to feel quezzy. She couldn't explane it. She
deside to skp lunch and go take a nap.
By the time she got to her room. She was feeling there ill indeed. For
some reason, it looked like her bed was fading. She thought it was just
her eyes playing tricks on her. She went to sit down on the bed, and
she Fail through the bed !!! Soon, the hole room started fading. She
ran out to the hallway, which was fading to. "I'm I dieing again ??"
She thought. She ran into Lizz, Gina, and Billy. "Why's everything
fading??" She exlamed.
"Oh my," exlamed Lizz, "we're fading!!!" "How spielburgean !!" Billy
though. "We and everything else must be in a state of transdemisal
flux." "But why isn't Jannie fading ???" Soon everything had faded to
blackness. Jannie felt as if she was being pulled apart. She tried to
hold on, but she couldn't and soon floted away.
Jannie awokeke. "Wow," she thought aloud," I must have been alseep for
a whole 8 1/2 pages." She proceeded to a mirror.her face was pale as
Michael Jackson. Sussenly her head rolled off. She knew why. Her dream
was real and it probably was not over yet.
(Jannie's head had not really rolled off, but being the fact that this
whole thing is not quite clear, we shall leave everything as it appears
and continue with the story. Thank you.)
The interesting part of this story-dream-reality-parallel universes,
excetera, excetera, excetera, is that everything seems to be out of
control. And to sustain matters until further notice we shall bring
the ever caring, ever thoughtful, Mr. Sutter back into the story.
Herman Sutter wasn't just a really cool libararian, he was a friend, so
he did his best to figure out this entire mystery (which indeed is a
mystery). "Jannie thinks she's dreaming, she thinks it's real, Billy
gets locked in closets, all these Jasons appear, what is the story
behind the matter? I think it's always best to check my handy catalog.
Oh, wait, I left it at St. Pius, oh, well. I think the best thing to
do is to solve this mystery, and slove it SOON!"
Suggestions were made, actions proposed, discarded, debates, arguments,
panic, and computers. They searched the computers for informational e
mail. But, because of all the happenings were unable to bring any
information up. So, being the courages people they were (and will be),
decided to take this into their own hands, (Especially Jason, whichever
one it it). Arming themselves with an asortment of educational and
rearrangable weapons (such as computers, calculators, books, paper, and
pens) they decided to quiz Duran Duran and Carmen S. It would be like
an academic challenge! (Wow, what smart people there are in the
world!) So, our brave characters go forth to question those in power
(and stop for souvniers on the way). Duran Duran and Carmen Sandiego
failed the quiz because it was a goodie quiz. However what to do with
them was debatable. Jason -whichever one it may be- said, " Let's hit
them with the crazy person ray. that way no one will believe what they
say." So Carmen and Duran where thrown into the portal never to be seen